Here's perhaps the silliest site I have come across this silly season.
BT sat down Tom Baker, that greatest of all Dr Whos and now the narrator of Little Britain, in front of a microphone with a dictionary to record phrases. 11,593 of them, to be precise. They're then broken down and reassembled to make other sentences of various sorts, mostly a little rude, sometimes witty, always downright silly.
For a while Tom's voice was actually used by BT as the voice on their text messaging service, but alas, that is no longer. But we still have Tom Baker Says. Check it out:
Tom Baker Says...
26 December 2006
25 December 2006
Strange thoughts on train
As one who so enjoys driving, I find my morning train commutes into the city of Adelaide to be journeys of continual revelation. A car, at least for most men, is so much an expression of the self and a buffer against the world that would intrude upon that self. The initial choice of model, colour, accessories; the music or radio shows in which you envelope yourself; even perhaps the routes you chose are, in some small way, about control, self-expression, the ego.
By contrast, trains gently force you to relinquish control, and to interact with the world and others in that curious, usually wordless way that is unique to rail transport. I often reflect on the fact that a train contains a vast collection of untold stories. Its like a massive bookshop containing only new releases by as yet unheard of writers. As you share a journey with these writers you get to know just a little about them by what they read, the way they dress, walk, browse the other passengers and how they converse with their companions. It's like reading the dust covers in the bookshop.
Often you see the same people on a daily basis and suddenly you seem to be in a relationship. I passed a man in the street the other day whom I recognised as a fellow rail traveller. We acknowledged each other shortly but with more than a hint of warmth because we shared a previous connection in a place where we would both otherwise have been disconnected from everyone.
And at the end of the day, these tiny connections are the lifeblood of existence. The hankering for connectedness of any sort is one of the major drivers for most people; the lack of that connectedness the principle cause of sadness.
On the morning journey, staring out of one of the scratched and hazy expanses of Perspex which pass for windows on South Australian trains and listening to Laurie Anderson's 'Big Science' on mp3, I was suddenly a little overwhelmed by this unextraordinary moment and wished my son were there to share it with me. Perhaps that too is inherent in human nature--through connection with others we can turn ordinary experiences into something more. But then it occurred to me that even of he were there, we would not be sharing my experience, but sharing a moment in which we were having different experiences. Those moments in life in which you look at someone else and have a deep sense that your experience or thoughts have genuinely aligned are extremely rare, and beyond price.
By contrast, trains gently force you to relinquish control, and to interact with the world and others in that curious, usually wordless way that is unique to rail transport. I often reflect on the fact that a train contains a vast collection of untold stories. Its like a massive bookshop containing only new releases by as yet unheard of writers. As you share a journey with these writers you get to know just a little about them by what they read, the way they dress, walk, browse the other passengers and how they converse with their companions. It's like reading the dust covers in the bookshop.
Often you see the same people on a daily basis and suddenly you seem to be in a relationship. I passed a man in the street the other day whom I recognised as a fellow rail traveller. We acknowledged each other shortly but with more than a hint of warmth because we shared a previous connection in a place where we would both otherwise have been disconnected from everyone.
And at the end of the day, these tiny connections are the lifeblood of existence. The hankering for connectedness of any sort is one of the major drivers for most people; the lack of that connectedness the principle cause of sadness.
On the morning journey, staring out of one of the scratched and hazy expanses of Perspex which pass for windows on South Australian trains and listening to Laurie Anderson's 'Big Science' on mp3, I was suddenly a little overwhelmed by this unextraordinary moment and wished my son were there to share it with me. Perhaps that too is inherent in human nature--through connection with others we can turn ordinary experiences into something more. But then it occurred to me that even of he were there, we would not be sharing my experience, but sharing a moment in which we were having different experiences. Those moments in life in which you look at someone else and have a deep sense that your experience or thoughts have genuinely aligned are extremely rare, and beyond price.
26 November 2006
Damien Leith wins Australian Idol!
I've always been a fan of talent shows and for that reason have always been annoyed by Australian Idol. The very premise of the program places 'star quality' ahead of talent as evidenced by the success of such mediocre singers as Shannon Noll (who I'm sure is a very nice chap).And as the Dean Geyer roadshow rolled on, I feared that Australian Idol 2006 was going the same way. This young man certainly had the package—boyish good looks, sultry eyes, good physique. The trouble was, he was a pretty average singer. The voice was reasonable, but his singing was utterly devoid of emotion. There was nothing behind those eyes even when delivering the most passionate numbers. Yet a few flashes of his six-pack in popular magazines seemed to be enough to propel him towards stardom.
And then something amazing happened which renewed my faltering faith in the Australian public—the viewers voted pretty-boy Dean off the program in favour of the two genuinely talented contestants remaining, Jessica Mauboy, the slightly frumpy Indonesian/Aboriginal schoolgirl from the Northern Territory with the huge voice, deep musical insight and delightful smile and Damien Leith, the shy, buck-toothed Irishman with the soaring falsetto and even deeper musical insight.
And tonight it was Damien who went on, incredibly, to become Australian Idol. I say incredibly, because this unassuming family man really was the most talented person on the program, probably ever, and he is in many ways the antithesis of a superstar. He's average looking, slightly dorky and not exactly cool. And his performances are introspective affairs. He doesn't 'work' an audience so much as carry on an intimate private conversation with a song and invite the audience in. The end result is musicianship of the highest order.
I hang around with lots of classically trained singers (indeed, as the old engineering joke goes, I are one), and I can imagine that in the next few days I'll hear several people criticise Damien's rendering of Puccini's Nessun Dorma. And they'd be right, in part. I personally know a dozen people who could sing that aria better than Damien Leith (although he did it pretty well), but I can guarantee that none of them would be able to make music of Chris Isaak's Wicked Game or Radiohead's Creep. And therein lies Damien's special gift—he seems to have the knack of enabling people to see into the heart of a song, any sort of song, in a way that a pretty-boy with 'star quality' would probably be unable to do. I raise my hat to you, Damien, and wish you all the best. And when you become rich, I'd appreciate it if you paid me back for the 20 calls I made on your behalf to the voting line, but there's no hurry.
Jessica, too, will go far. For one so young she has genuine talent. I hope she stops trying to emulate Whitney Huston and Mariah Carey with their ridiculous warbling and vocal gymnastics, though. Sometimes a songwriter works very hard to select a particular note and the audience deserves to hear it rather than the 257 other notes that Mariah Carey chooses to put in its place.
And as for Dean Geyer, nothing I say will deprive him of success. And I do believe that as he matures he may well learn to sing with the emotion that will make that success deserved.
7 November 2006
Melbourne Cup wrap
> 2007 Melbourne Cup tips may be found here.
What a great race it was. The pace was very easy early on, but from the 1200 m mark they kicked on and the field really spread out. Yeats was ridden very handy and looked well-placed, but seemed to go too early and struggle under the weight. He fought back gamely for 7th. Tawqeet had been a veterinary query before the race and did not figure at all. But the two Japanese horses were fantastic, and Delta Blues held on gamely when he looked like he would be pipped at the post. I commented in my Late Mail that the two were inseparable on form so Delta Blues looked great value. What a tremendous staying performance from both horses, and a finish reminiscent of an immortal Cox Plate from some years ago involving Bonecrusher and Our Waverley Star.
My eight top rated horses included 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 7th——not a bad result.
What a great race it was. The pace was very easy early on, but from the 1200 m mark they kicked on and the field really spread out. Yeats was ridden very handy and looked well-placed, but seemed to go too early and struggle under the weight. He fought back gamely for 7th. Tawqeet had been a veterinary query before the race and did not figure at all. But the two Japanese horses were fantastic, and Delta Blues held on gamely when he looked like he would be pipped at the post. I commented in my Late Mail that the two were inseparable on form so Delta Blues looked great value. What a tremendous staying performance from both horses, and a finish reminiscent of an immortal Cox Plate from some years ago involving Bonecrusher and Our Waverley Star.
My eight top rated horses included 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 7th——not a bad result.
Melbourne Cup Late Mail
> 2007 Melbourne Cup tips may be found here.
With Efficient scratched, the big movers in the market are Mandela and Maybe Better, both horses I rated earlier. There's also money going on Pop Rock and I expect him to shorten further nearer the jump. The market seems to have really favoured Pop Rock over Delta Blues, although I suspect there's not that much between them. That makes the lengthening Delta Blues pretty good value, but he likes the going firm.
There have been showers at Flemington this morning, and although probably no more than 1 mm has fallen, that's enough to keep the track rated at Dead at the moment, and even if that rating is modified to Good pre-race, which is a slight possibility, the sting has definitely been taken out of the turf. That is likely to favour UK horses such as Keats and also Geordieland, who has not previously been in my reckoning. Note that Tawqeet and Pop Rock have both had success on slower tracks. as have Zipping, Art Success, Mandela and Maybe Bettter.
With Efficient out of the field there is a lack of pace in the field, and only a few horses who are willing to take a lead and spread out the field. Whilst one might think that would favour the fast horses, who will be able to run ove the top in the final stretch, in reality it means that the field is likely to bunch up out of the gates and hold position for some time and this will cause problems for horses who get back early. Tawqeet, Maybe Better and Pop Rock are all runners who like to sit midfield or further back and may be inconvenienced by the pace. Yeats, Geordieland and Mandela prefer to race handy, so may well be suited.
So my original two tips of Tawqeet and Yeats stand. With Efficient out of the running, I think Pop Rock and Maybe Better might also come into the frame. And I am now putting Geordieland into my reckoning.
To win:
4. Tawqeet
1. Yeats
from 12. Pop Rock and 23. Maybe Better
Also in the mix:
13. Zipping
2. Delta Blues
21. Mandela
5. Geordieland
With Efficient scratched, the big movers in the market are Mandela and Maybe Better, both horses I rated earlier. There's also money going on Pop Rock and I expect him to shorten further nearer the jump. The market seems to have really favoured Pop Rock over Delta Blues, although I suspect there's not that much between them. That makes the lengthening Delta Blues pretty good value, but he likes the going firm.
There have been showers at Flemington this morning, and although probably no more than 1 mm has fallen, that's enough to keep the track rated at Dead at the moment, and even if that rating is modified to Good pre-race, which is a slight possibility, the sting has definitely been taken out of the turf. That is likely to favour UK horses such as Keats and also Geordieland, who has not previously been in my reckoning. Note that Tawqeet and Pop Rock have both had success on slower tracks. as have Zipping, Art Success, Mandela and Maybe Bettter.
With Efficient out of the field there is a lack of pace in the field, and only a few horses who are willing to take a lead and spread out the field. Whilst one might think that would favour the fast horses, who will be able to run ove the top in the final stretch, in reality it means that the field is likely to bunch up out of the gates and hold position for some time and this will cause problems for horses who get back early. Tawqeet, Maybe Better and Pop Rock are all runners who like to sit midfield or further back and may be inconvenienced by the pace. Yeats, Geordieland and Mandela prefer to race handy, so may well be suited.
So my original two tips of Tawqeet and Yeats stand. With Efficient out of the running, I think Pop Rock and Maybe Better might also come into the frame. And I am now putting Geordieland into my reckoning.
To win:
4. Tawqeet
1. Yeats
from 12. Pop Rock and 23. Maybe Better
Also in the mix:
13. Zipping
2. Delta Blues
21. Mandela
5. Geordieland
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